FROM SADNESS TO COMFORT
We walked into the funeral home not knowing what was coming up. Not knowing how everyone would respond with what we would see. The moment it opened everyone froze. Awe filled our faces; the room was silent and awkward as we looked into the casket. The person we all knew and loved laying there lifeless with no more meaning. A broken body unbelievable small, so childlike; it hurt to look, to see someone so helpless and not being able to help him. You could feel the anguish filling the room as we stared. Little kids asking questions; they didn't understand. The tears started to fall as we finally comprehended what our eyes couldn't believe. The little blonde boy with blue eyes, so fragile, with glasses too. he had on a sweater and cords but even with clothes on you could see the broken parts on him. Make-up covers nothing. The look of his face made you feel pain as you looked at the scratches and bruises. No words can explain how our family was feeling, and what emotions were rolling across our faces. Madness, sadness, grief, questioning, plus many more feelings were there. Even with a family so big it is hard to imagine life with one less, we only had him for a little while which was enough, but wanted him longer. Even though siblings and family members get annoying, never take them for granted. Because when there time is up you'd wish it had just begun. And when there time does come to be with their heavenly father, you need to look to the future when you get to see them again in heaven. Without all the horrible pain you used to see in their face without all their suffering. And knowing their in a better place doesn't make it easy, just easier. At that moment of realization, a strange comfort filled the room. It was him, with God next to him.
Written by courtney, in loving memory of my cousin, Seth Van Wienen