Tuesday, February 16, 2010


i have been enjoying lydia and ben so much lately. they are best buds and partners in crime. today i was walking around the corner and all of the sudden the 2 of them drop something and run....literally running in opposite directions. what did they drop? a 1/2 eaten bag of miniature marshmellows!! once found....they were sticky from their noses to their fingertips!!

i listen to them play upstairs in their rooms together. they like going up there and then closing themselves into the room they chose. that is when i love going and standing outside the door just listening......
B: 'leah.....mere'
L: 'nope'
B: 'leah......MERE!!'
L: lets out a huge sigh and walks over
B: few seconds later blood curdling scream
mom opens door to find lydia with a wad of red hair in her fingers and ben crying 'leah....hair.....ow!!!' too funny!!! well.....maybe not for ben, but needless to say it was funny!

went outside with them this morning. watched as they experienced the snow.....immediately they both started eating the snow. by the time we went in their cheeks were so red! at one point ben had fallen down and couldn't get back up because of his snow pants and being in the snow....lydia came to his rescue and helped him up. love to watch them together! i just pray that they will continue to be best of friends....and maybe not as much partners in crime!! :)

Thursday, February 4, 2010


two years....it's been two years that God has blessed us with benjamin seth. how can it be? how can it be two years since we held him for the first time? today is so bittersweet for me. yes, ben finally came into our lives....but it just magnified the hole that is seth's spot in our family. always realizing that ben and lydia will never meet their older brother this side of the vale. why can't i just be joyous and happy for our dear sweet surprise? ugh!!! i hate what grief does to a person!!! why is it so much work? why can't it be "easier"? why can't my hole be filled? i guess it will be when Jesus returns....but some days that seems so far away.

the other day ben was doing his ritual of asking "andoo?"...."he's at school"....."leah?"...."lydia's at school"......."uke?"....."he's at school"....."abby?".....she's at school...."cece?"..."grace is at school"...."kaba?".....caleb's at school....."daddy?".....daddy's at work (it usually takes a few minutes!!). but that day he ended with "fesh?" (his 'seth').....my heart SOARED!! he included seth right along with the others!! "setb is in Heaven" then we ask him who does seth live with? we get him to say Jesus and then "when will you see seth again?...........he says "sunday" for someday. someday ben-ben.....you're right.....someday we all will see him again....i LONG for that day!

ben found seth's hat one day and i found him like this....absolute joy.