Happy Birthday, Seth!

today is a day that i have been dreading for the last 8.5 months. today is seth's birthday. i could just hear him running down from his bedroom asking for his presents. instead it was andrew - our sweet andrew- "it's seth's birthday today mom, we need sausages and eggs for breakfast" (sausages were seth's favorite breakfast - eggs are andrew's :) luke came to me first thing and said "i think it's someone's birthday.....and i think that mom & dad need a present" to which he runs downstairs to retrieve a football card he has been saving just for today. i had no clue who it was, what team he played on, what position he played but in all honesty i didn't care, for his name was seth (seth joyner i believe). "i saved this one just for you and dad because of his name". i could have cried right then and there. i told him that if he wanted he could leave it at seth's grave later today and he thought that was a grand idea. he put it in a plastic box so it wouldn't "get wet in the rain" along with a note he wrote to seth....."happy birthday seth, i know it's not much but i thought you'd enjoy it. i wish i could see you get it. love you luke" and that is the way that this special/awful day started. we ended the day by taking the kids out for abby's birthday dinner at pizza hut and then went out to the cemetary. there is just something wrong about seeing your name chizzled in stone in a place like that. we had cupcakes, let off balloons, had sparklers (andrew's idea) and cried. oh how i miss our little guy (although he'd probably HATE being called a little guy). he'd be 11 today. during my devotions God told me not to think of it as our first birthday without him, but his first birthday in Heaven (to which i wondered to myself if birthdays are celebrated in Heaven). so......seth's first birthday in Heaven......getting up and having sausages, playing with all the other children, playing basketball, eating cake, having sparklers, and wishing that we were all there with him celebrating too. someday seth, someday... until then....happy birthday seffers, happy birthday. i love you to the moon and to the stars......mom