yesterday we baptized lydia into our family of God. what a day. you know, i think that since seth died - days like yesterday are more precious to me.....sweeter.....and yet at the same time - bittersweet. will i ever be able to sit in that front bench at church and NOT think of the day we had to say goodbye? yesterday was such a special day.....so why do i have to 'ruin' it in my mind by thinking of the one that's no longer here? caleb, grace, abby, luke, and andrew sang 'welcome to the family' to lydia. caleb was able to hold lydie - they all did such a great job....we were SO proud of them! and then there were the few moments when i thought to myself....there's one missing - another gaping big hole. why do i have to that? we have been blessed so dearly with 7 healthy, wonderful (most of the time! :)) children....when will i be able to see those 7 and not the one missing?
don't get me wrong....it wasn't a terrible day, actually it was a great day - it's just those few times when seth seeps into my mind when i get sad....when i miss him more than usual. i wish that i could think of him and be happy rather than sad. maybe time will give that to me someday. until then....i will cherish the one while enjoying the 7.
i wish i knew how to download the video from yesterday when the kids were singing to lydia. it was so precious. we gave caleb a pocketful of fruit snacks to give her if she got antsy.....i think he may have gone through the entire pocket! :) while she was being baptized abby had snuck up some fruit snacks with her (probably more for herself than for anyone else!!! :)).....thankfully!!! lydia got just a little antsy and so abby started giving her them....until she turned around and mouthed "i only got one left!!!" to which i then saw abby giving lydia little BITS of fruit snacks...it was so sweet!!
we were so proud of them....proud of the family we now have. is it right to be proud at times like that? i'm not sure. all i know is that yesterday was one of those days that, like mary, i will ponder and treasure them in my heart forever....so welcome to the family lydia.....welcome home!