OFF TO MONTANA!! (soon...)

96 bears assembled and ready to deliver.......350 support letters sealed and ready to be sent.....starlight stuff done......now on to packing for MONTANA!!! we leave on saturday and just can't wait. i've never been out west before and am very anxious to see God's creation and beauty. i can't wait for the road trip (i LOVE road trips!). i'm excited to spend time with my brother and sister and their family (they're coming with us too!). i'm just ready for a change. with all the excitement i still feel anxious....sad?.....reserved? i'm not really sure, but just off a little. we will be celebrating seth's birthday in montana. i'm a little disappointed that i won't be here to visit his 'doorway' (i just finished reading a book where a mom had lost her infant daughter to a genetic disorder and they call her grave site her 'doorway into heaven'. i absolutely LOVED that reference! so i think from now on i'm going to look at seth's grave not as an ending, but a beginning for him. a doorway in which he ran through 20 months ago.) i'm nervous as to how to 'celebrate' this year. i don't want it to be just another day and yet i don't want to 'ruin' the time out there for everyone else. i'm still thinking about what to do. i finished seth's ABC scrapbook.....maybe i'll take that with us.....i'm not quite sure yet. donna (my sister-in-law) suggested we go up to the tallest hill/mountain to get the closest to him and let go balloons....maybe that's what we'll do. either way....he will be so missed. this is our first major vacation without him and i'm feeling such mixed emotions. i just hope the day goes well, that we have fun, and that i don't ruin it for everyone.