abby and luke were going on a field trip today and they were going to be outside most of the day so they were going to need their hats/mittens. luke was looking through the baskets of them and proceeded to dump them all out looking for a pair (lovely.....let the winter ritual of losing mittens begin already!). he grabbed a pair and ran off for the bus - leaving behind of course a mess of mittens and hats. i sat down to start sorting them all ...... then is when i saw it......seth's royal blue detroit lions hat. it was the hat he ALWAYS wore in the winter. (see above picture....i couldn't get it to move down here) i could see him in it. i could hear him complain that he had to wear a hat again. i could smell him. i just want to see him in it again!!!!
grief IS like waves.......some you're able to breathe through.......and others you just feel as if you're drowning. my sister emailed me a beautiful verse in Isaiah 41: 10, 13 "so do not fear, for i am with you; i will strengthen you and help you; i will uphold you with my righteous right hand. for i am the Lord your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; i will help you". it's such a beautiful picture of never being alone - even when it feels like you are. i like the part where He says that He will not only help me, but strengthen me. i don't feel strong today....but i have a hope that one day that strength WILL come and i pray that God alone will be glorified for it. today's tidal wave?......i felt like i was drowning....like i couldn't breath.....like i didn't want to do this 'grief' stuff any more....but i wasn't drowning. i see that now. God was breathing for me....breathing into me a new strength. strength that will get me through the next wave and the next and the one after that. to GOD be the glory!!! amen and amen.